Rejection hurts, especially when it comes from someone you love. If you’ve been trying to initiate sex with your partner and keep getting turned down, it’s natural to feel lonely, frustrated, or even unsure of your next steps. Over time, this cycle can chip away at your confidence and connection, leaving you wondering how to fix things.
In relationships, mismatched desires or struggles with intimacy are common, especially during stressful periods like raising kids, work pressures, or health challenges. The key is finding ways to navigate these moments that feel good for both of you.
How to Reconnect
Talk About It Outside the Bedroom: The Gottman's suggest conversations about intimacy are best done when you’re not in the heat of the moment. Share how you’ve been feeling: “When I try to initiate and it doesn’t work out, I start feeling lonely. I’d love to find a way to reconnect.”
Create Rituals of Connection: The GottSex resources from the Gottman Institute suggest couples establish ways to communicate about sex that feel respectful and caring. For instance, if couples can talk about ways to initiate or decline sex without feeling rejected, then there may be less hurt feelings.
Focus on Emotional Intimacy: Sexual rejection often feels less painful when there’s a foundation of emotional closeness. Make time to connect through non-sexual touch, quality conversations, or shared activities.
Be Open to Compromise: Desire ebbs and flows for everyone. Exploring alternatives—what affection IS your partner open to? What is the best way to initiate physical intimacy? How can we still connect if we're too tired for sex?
Moving Forward
Rejection doesn’t have to create distance. With tools like those found on the GottSex website, couples can develop ways to initiate or decline intimacy that leave both partners feeling respected and loved.
If you’re struggling with intimacy in your relationship, Brisbane Couples Counselling can help. Call 3876 2100 or email info@brisbanecouplescounselling.com to book a session today. Let’s work together to rebuild connection and create a relationship where both of you feel wanted and valued.
Comments